No one is safe from a defensive shadow!
“If only” and “what if” are often associated with coulda, woulda and shoulda by playing a part in the regret. Coulda, woulda and shoulda such seemingly innocuous words are often used to create a powerful feed. Those three little words can twist possibilities into absolutes by making what didn’t happen a huge mistake and what might happen a potential disaster.
A good feed begins with the feeder agreeing or disagreeing with the feedee, who is defending their chosen reality. The challenge to one’s reality will always bring up defense. Feedees feed on not being good enough while the feeders, like any predator, feeds on being better than others. Artificially generated claims of knowing and understanding another’s experience all bring on the feast by sheer need to prove validity of reality.