What if this dimension could expand to include other dimensions, would we be able to handle it? What if this would require our letting go of the judgments of right/wrong, or good/bad? Could we let go of something that is as normal to us as breathing? How do you just stop doing what you believe you have to do? It seems impossible!
- “Stop comparing things in terms of right or wrong, good or bad? No way I’m doing that!!”
- “I consider myself a fair (good/right) person, I only call things the way they are, the way my mind and heart tell me to.”
- “How wrong can that be?”
Humans instruct their young as early as possible to think good/ bad, right/ wrong. Among the first impressions human children get from their world are based on negative adult response, i.e., “Stop that,” “Don’t do that,” “Shame on you,” “That’s a no no, “That’s a bad boy!”, etc..
Studies have shown that children experience the energy of NO many more times per day than yes. We go so far as to tell our little ones they should know better, they need to be and do better or that they are wrong because of their words or behaviors. If we could separate the child’s behavior from who they are, making it clear that we want to help them in their success, maybe we as humans wouldn’t carry so much guilt, shame and blame (emotional saboteurs).
These emotional saboteurs are what feeds frustration by trying to convince the reasoning mind that impossible judgments about the self are true. The frustration is like a time warp that pops our minds, in a distorted way, back to the times we felt helpless and hopeless. Being told you are something you are not and believing such unfair comments to be true is the creation point of self destruction.
Such internal creations are strung together through time and justifications to all the other moments of self destruction and form a chain. When we let our minds play among the chains of negative thoughts,, frustration is born and the mind is bound by emotions held in limbo until we learn the ways of breaking free from this negative feed chains.
I like to hear parents/grandparents (including me, of course), remind their children/grandchildren that their BEHAVIOR is the issue – NOT THEM. “I don’t like the way you are behaving” is different from “you’re stupid!” (an impossible judgment) or “What’s wrong with you?!” (a nasty insinuation)
Our frustration often comes out in harsh judgmental character assassination statements like, “You’re a !%$* liar!” or “Why can’t you ever tell the truth?” (when a child is obviously lying). The connotation to the child – underneath the meanness of the statement itself is, “you – the person you are at your core – are BAD or EVIL – and you will ALWAYS be that way because THAT IS WHO YOU ARE!!!”
The truth, however, is something FAR different. So why do we insist upon lying to our children and grandchildren?
Too often we as parents seek to impose our self-image upon our unsuspecting offspring with outwardly focused self-judgments.
One might find truth difficult to speak when one has been taught to lie for a living!
As a grandparent, I can tell you with some experience behind it that adults LIE TO THEIR OFFSPRING all the time! We rarely tell them the truth – how amazing they are… how incredibly magnificent they are… no matter how they behave. The truth is: what they DO is not who they ARE.
It is our DUTY and place in life to do our best to steer our children in ways beneficial to them and our society – we call it parenting. I think there is debate about how influential parenting is – but my gut tells me there is influence there. Who instills in us those deep frustrations if not our parents or other early childhood guardians, siblings, and family?
I agree that negative input begins during early childhood. Many of those who teach and lead our youth have no idea how much of an influence they are. There are just as many people who don’t really care about their own example around the young or worse, have malicious intent towards them. The latter poses the biggest problem individually and socially, because the children who endure abusive treatment may be incubating frustrations that often lead to physical manifestations of violence, while others exposed to similar conditions may turn out the opposite. It’s important to realize here that whether the kids grow up one way or another, frustration has been introduced to all of them and depending on how they deal with the frustration will determine how much of a feed will result not only from them but from those they influence.
re: “trying to convince the reasoning mind that impossible judgments about the self are true.”
For sure! I particularly like your use of the word “impossible” – like throwing yourself against a concrete wall expecting to break through at any minute. FRUSTRATION!!
Nothing like a belief in a lie about yourself to skew your views, judgments, justifications, and emotions – and make frustration a constant companion.
So, what is the truth about me? I’ve been guilty of telling others the “truth” about themselves – but I don’t know who I am, much less who they are! Is it even possible to know such a thing? Which perception is truth and which lies? According to who? It seems to me that seeking the truth might, itself, be not only fruitless, but frustrating as well.And yet, it seems to me that EVERYONE wants to know who they really are – thus the proliferation of churches, religions, philosophies, tests, schools, theories, ad infinitum…
Any ideas on where I might go looking for the truth about who I really am – other than from somebody else who doesn’t know either?
I don’t know who we are either. Maybe it would be easier to eliminate what or who we are not. We could play the “is it animal, vegetable or mineral?” game or consider which creature we most resemble, such as herbivores, carnivores or omnivores. Ancient Alien Theorists suggest we have been engineered by extraterrestrials. That’s an interesting possibility, I am inclined, to think we may not carry any one genetic form but are a combination of innumerable engineering modifications and have been adapting to earth for longer than science can tell us.
No one knows, I suppose. I know I don’t know and I now know you don’t know so maybe knowing is no ones business you know.
I like the idea of Collagen being an integral part of cellular connections, it seems right that something would arrive on the creation scene that could chemically and structurally bind life to life at the smallest levels. This connective opportunity allowed the minutest of physical systems to develop beyond themselves and the world they knew, into the unknown, much large world of potential for new experiential awakenings. Ahh new beginnings!